Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Forgive but forget not.

How on earth do you forgive when you haven’t forgotten? And with my memory, I don’t just remember the hurt, but everything associated with it in painful detail. Not that I want to. So, when I forgive someone, it's a huge effort. Unfortunately my demeanor and my tendency to laugh away things and to pretend that I haven’t heard or understood that nasty comment thrown about me, people mistake me to be a "practical person" who doesn’t "feel" things. The truth is, it feels every time. The words which pinch , bite and makes one cry have the same effect on me too. But you won't see it if you don’t want to.

I have thought of shouting back and to give people taste of their own medicine. But that is reacting the way they expected you to. So, I still laugh away or pretend that I haven’t heard or understood that nasty comment thrown about me. And for a good reason. To deprive the devil of the pleasure to see the other pained by his/her scornful insensitive remark is indeed a sweet revenge.

So the next time when I laugh and people say that I have an easy laugh, I will laugh at the thought. Nothing's easy buddy.

PS: I think I have been bragging a lot about my memory these days. Because for the first time, I have forgotten the login-id and password to an important site. Sigh...
Well, this postscript was an afterthought. To let my friends know that I am alright, just irritated with something.

7 comments:

angel said...

Remember your last birthday when your friends threw a surprise party? Play the memory like it is a movie.

Now, was the camera placed inside your head shooting others? Or was it placed on the outside, with you too on the screen?

Good memories ought to be remembered with the camera inside your head. Bad ones have to be remembered with the camera on the outside and suddenly they aren't so bad anymore. In fact, when you do that, you will even find right ways of responding to people instead of blowing your lid off.

Try it out. Works like a charm.

Kavs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kavs said...

Reading such a warm comment, I knew it had to be from an Angel!

Luxy said...

hey, i am kinda back on the blog but just kinda. Things to say remain in my head these days and lose the steam before it gets to the blog :D , really liked what angel has commented here!

Gauri Shevatekar said...

seems someone/so many displeased u badly,but i agree with angel... good memories are sweet medicines for the bitter wounds of life !!! they become our strength too. but what's true abt all of us is,in that immediate feeling of rage and aftereffects of the incident cast their impressions and we just follow them again and again instead of taking another way out !!! may be,what works in this situation is different for different people but the one stated by angel would certainly be of help !!!!

Sheela said...

hey, thanks for stopping by... sometimes, i realize that feeling hurt and holding a grudge takes a lot of effort, so, best to just erase the memory of the hurt - which of course, is easier said that done!

p.s: was glad you found your first best friend... i am still looking for one of my dear friends from college days and i keep imagining we'll run into each other some day...

Kavs said...

Thank you ladies! I think this post served its purpose...I know good memories prevail, and I am not the one to hold grudges. My way of dealing with hurt/humiliation is to write my feelings and get the thing out of my head. It works great, just that sometimes it takes a little longer.

PS: Welcome Lux!
Gauri and Sheela, thank you for stopping by!