Tuesday, November 20, 2007

In memorium

I remember you as a tiny baby dressed in a powder blue frock on your first Diwali.
Then I remember you as an extremely naughty school girl who played all kinds of pranks and took great interest in cooking.

The last I saw you was when you were in 6th standard, I guess.

Somehow things turned really terrible for you, your parents separated after years of hostility, you faced abuse. You had to leave school to support yourself. You lost your childhood.

Over the years, we just forgot all about you. Until few years ago, when I heard that you had married somebody. I had sincerely prayed for your happiness. I was very sure that God will bless you with everything that you had missed out on. Love, laughter, a carefree life and above all a wonderful family.

Alas, it was not to be. I could not believe my ears when I heard that you were no more...My stomach was in knots. The memories I had came rushing by. I wept. I wept with guilt and shame. I wept for the lost life, the lost opportunity to hold your hand and help you live a better life. The lost opportunity to tell you that you were loved.

Dear Sh., if only I could tell you how much I regret not finding out what happened to you...not being there when you would have wept alone. Your parents shirked their responsibility, and we, your blood relations failed you too.

Rest in peace little sister and forgive us if you can.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Di, thx for this blog...
made me cry again....

lov,
k2

fountainhead said...

kavs...sh??? feels terrible. beautiful homage though. May she rest in peace.

Kavs said...

K2, Hugs. This will take a long while for us to get over.

Pals, will tell you about her somewhere else. Writing always was therapeutic, however this time words didnt help. :(

livelifequeensize said...

You have perfectly put the feelings, so difficult to express, in words.I remembered it all! May the little one rest in peace.